


Our Love is Like the Number Pi

by runningwyld



Series: Getting Together [11]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Feels, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Humor, M/M, Pick-Up Lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-26 05:09:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20736731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runningwyld/pseuds/runningwyld
Summary: Someone is texting Danny pick-up lines from an unknown number.  Obviously, it's some poor schmuck who thinks he's texting a woman he met in a bar.  Or is it?  Could the messages have been meant for Danny all along?  A bit of McDanno getting together fluff.





	Our Love is Like the Number Pi

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own no rights to Hawaii Five-0 or any of its characters. This is a work of fan fiction and no infringement is intended.
> 
> With the premier of Season 10 less than a week away, I thought I'd take this opportunity to post a little McDanno fluff. This story is set a few months after Danny donates Steve part of his liver and is cannon-divergent at that point. The story is a bit silly, but maybe a few of you single folks can pick up some pointers. Please pardon the pun.

Danny was just walking out of his house into the hot Hawaiian morning when his phone chimed with an incoming text. Since it was probably just Steve telling him to pick up breakfast on the way over, he ignored it until he was settled behind the wheel with the air conditioner running. Once he was satisfied that he wasn’t going to melt before he even left his driveway, Danny pulled his phone out to check the message on the off chance it was actually important.

_ “If you were a Transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine.”_

Danny chuckled when he read the text from the unknown number. Probably some poor schmuck who thought he’d scored the phone number of a hot woman in a bar. Who could blame her for giving him a fake number? With a line like that the guy was lucky she hadn’t thrown a drink in his face. Danny placed the phone in the cup-holder and headed out, but just as he pulled up in front of Steve’s house, it chimed again. 

_ “You’re like asthma ... you take my breath away.”_

Was this guy serious with these lines? Danny debated for a minute about whether he should let the Romeo know he had the wrong person or if he should just block the number instead. Maybe it was mean, but Danny really wanted to find out how long this guy would keep texting awful pick-up lines when he didn’t get a response from the supposed recipient. If the first two texts were anything to go by, the guy was persistent, so Danny decided to hold off on letting him know that he was texting the wrong number just to see how far he’d take it. He switched the phone to vibrate and put it away just as Steve opened the driver’s side door. The irritating man held the door open and smiled as if he was a valet instead of just a control-freak who wouldn’t let his partner drive his own damn car. Why Danny found that sexy and endearing, he’d never know. But, the one thing he did know after nearly seven years of experience was that he’d end up letting Steve have his way, so he simply sighed and climbed out.

After a morning filled with running down witnesses, literally in one case, and hanging on for dear life when Steve decided it’d be a good idea to reenact a scene from the _Dukes of Hazzard_, they were back at the Palace and Danny finally got a chance to check his messages. There were five, one from Grace asking to have a sleep-over next weekend, one from his sister Stella asking if he’d killed Eric yet, and three from the same unknown number from that morning.

_ “Do you eat Lucky Charms for breakfast? Because you’re magically delicious!”_

_ "Dr. Phil says I’m afraid of commitment … want to help prove him wrong?”_

_ “If you were a tropical fruit, you'd be a Fine-apple!”_

Danny let out an audible groan at that last line, a Fine-apple, was this guy for real? Danny was starting to think he was being pranked. If so, this had to be the strangest practical joke in history. Danny re-read the five texted pick-up lines and chuckled. What the hell, if it was a prank, at least it was a humorous one. He was still chuckling when Steve appeared in his office doorway.

“What are you laughing about? Did Grace send you another silly cat video?”

Danny glanced up from his phone. Steve was leaning against the doorframe, his head slightly cocked in curiosity, looking like Optimus Fine. Ugh, Danny quickly shook off the thought.

“No. Some would-be Casanova keeps texting me the worst pick-up lines ever. I can’t believe anyone could possibly think they would work.”

“Oh yeah? Got a secret admirer, do you?” Steve asked with an annoying smirk. “Or maybe a not so secret one? You been holding out on me, buddy?”

“Puh-lese. Like I’d fall for any of these lines. Listen to this one, 'If you were a tropical fruit, you’d be a Fine-apple.' Whoever wrote that couldn’t possibly know me if they thought that line would work.”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Steve straightened up and crossed is arms. He looked almost offended. “It’s seems pretty flattering, if you ask me.”

“I didn’t ask you. But, if you think that’s a good line, then that Smooth Dog nickname your Navy buddies gave you must have been of the ironic variety.”

“Hey, I’ll have you know that that moniker was well earned, and not ironically either. When I was in the Navy, I never went home alone unless I wanted to.”

“Now, that I can believe, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t because you were a smooth talker.” Danny was positive Steve never had to smooth talk a woman in his life. In fact, he probably had more success when he didn’t talk at all. There was no doubt in Danny’s mind that all a 20-something Steve had to do was stand there looking gorgeous and lonely and women probably fell at his feet.

“What do you mean?” Steve asked, pulling Danny from his inappropriate thoughts. “Are you saying it was just the uniform?”

“Yeah, sure. The uniform. That’s exactly what I meant. Now come look at these text messages. Some poor pathetic dope was obviously given a fake number by someone and he hasn’t got a clue.”

Steve walked behind Danny’s chair and leaned over his shoulder. Danny tried to ignore the fact that Steve’s chest was grazing his shoulder and lifted the phone so his partner could see the screen. 

“Magically delicious?” Danny could feel the vibration of Steve’s chest when he laughed and he bit back a groan. “I used to love Lucky Charms as a kid. And who doesn’t love Transformers? Optimus Fine is actually pretty clever.” Steve seemed impressed.

“Puns are the lowest form of humor,” Danny told him with a huff as his turned his chair so he could look up Steve.

“What?” If possible, Steve seemed to move a little closer and his voice took on a seductive timbre. “Did you want him to say something like, ‘No wonder the sky is gray today, all the blue is in your eyes.’?”

Danny looked up into Steve’s own eyes that always seemed to change colors like the sea and for a minute he thought his partner might be serious. That was ridiculous, but maybe Smooth Dog wasn’t such an ironic nickname after all.

Danny cleared his throat, “Yeah, well, that’s certainly better than the lines this chump has been texting, but it’s still pretty corny. Has it ever actually worked?”

Steve shrugged his shoulders and headed towards the door. His quiet, “I don’t know yet,” was so soft, Danny wasn’t sure he really said it. He shook off the possibility. They’d known each other for almost seven years and there had never been any indication that Steve was anything but straight. Although, come to think of it, Steve would probably say the same thing about him. The truth was though that his own feelings towards his partner had taken a completely unexpected, and decidedly romantic, turn in recent months, but that didn’t mean Steve’s had as well. After all, what was the likelihood that two 40-year-old supposedly heterosexual males would suddenly become attracted to each other? Slim to none. But was it really sudden? If Danny was honest with himself, he’d admit that his relationship with Steve had always been deeper than any other relationship he’d ever had. It just took him over six years and one near-death experience too many, to realize it. Even so, his friendship with Steve was too important for Danny to risk it by saying anything about his newly recognized feelings. Steve was his best friend, the most important person in his life aside from him children, and Danny would never do anything to jeopardize that. He couldn’t envision a future without Steve in it and if that meant he had to push aside his more intimate feelings, that’s exactly what he would do. He was brought out of his thoughts by the buzzing of his phone. What he read made him smile.

_ “I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile ... then walk into a pole.”_

Okay, that one was pretty good. Danny was actually starting to like the poor schmuck. He really should text him back and let him know he had the wrong number. Before he could figure out what to say that wouldn’t totally humiliate the guy, he got another message.

_ “You gave me half your liver, but you’ve stolen all of my heart.”_

Danny felt his jaw drop. He read the text again to make sure…

_ “You gave me half your liver, but you’ve stolen all of my heart.”_

Steve. The anonymous pick-up artist was Steve, who was apparently sending him texts from a burner phone. Danny's pulse started to race as he continued to stare at his phone, reading the text over and over as he tried to make it make sense. Just when he had convinced himself that Steve was playing a practical joke, movement in the doorway caught his attention. He glanced up and there was Steve. He looked vulnerable and hopeful and not at all like he was waiting for the payoff from a practical joke.

“Steve? It was you sending those messages? Why?” Danny couldn’t seem to wrap his mind around the fact that it was Steve, his partner, the object of his supposedly unrequited love, who had been texting him sweet, corny pick-up lines all day. But maybe, just maybe, those texts were the only way Steve, who avoided talking about his feelings at all costs, could think of to let Danny know how he felt.

Steve stepped into the office just far enough to close the door and lean back against it. He quickly glanced at Danny before dropping his eyes. “I thought that last text was pretty clear.”

Danny looked down at his phone and read the last message one more time. “Did you mean it? I've stolen your heart?” Danny asked, his voice soft, but hoarse with emotion.

Steve looked up again and there was a tentative smile on his lips. He nodded. “I can’t explain it. I guess my love is like the number Pi, irrational and never ending.”

Danny set there silently and stared at the man who just minutes earlier he thought would never return his feelings. Slowly, and inexorably, a feeling of happiness overtook him, and he began to laugh. Not cruelly, but with relief and joy. Leave it to Steve to be the one to take the risk and admit his feelings first. He was right, their feelings for each other really couldn’t be explained, but they were real, nonetheless. Just as real as … 

“Pi, our love is like the number Pi.”

Steve nodded as he straightened and started walking towards Danny. “Yeah, irrational…”

“And never ending,” Danny finished has he stood up and walked around the desk to meet Steve.

For several seconds they simply stood there staring at each other, not quite touching. When that was no longer enough, Danny was the one to break the silence.

“Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“If I bite my lip will you kiss it better?”

Steve let out a laugh full of happiness and reached for Danny to do just that.

** _Fin._ **

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading. I hope I made you smile.


End file.
